and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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