So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize