i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
