i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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