oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
