Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is Oprah even human
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
