Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
