How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
