dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
