just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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