He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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