remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
