So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
