I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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