I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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