She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
