The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
