she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
