Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you win again, gameday.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
