what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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