I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
