You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Operation Purity has been aborted
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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