community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
