I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
