If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
