So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
