Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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