Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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