its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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