you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
