Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
