Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
