Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
