The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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