do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
