Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
