I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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