were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
