Do vagina's smell?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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