Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
