Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
