umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
