we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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