you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
