I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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