Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
