I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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