last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
