If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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