I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
