so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
