THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
