Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
