Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
